What a good time to turn 26

I will turn 26 this year, and my anxiety increased proportionally with each passing moment getting closer to my birthday. I am no longer in my early twenties. I might start getting grey hair, I might have to get serious about getting a house, a car, a husband, and so many more things. ( Let me get a pet first)

I am not gonna go philosophical and dive deep into introspection( scary eh?)

But when I look back, I often feel I don’t appreciate myself enough for this 25-year roller coaster ride I have been on. I was a small-town girl who didn’t own a smartphone till I turned 20( No I didn’t know that Google could do wonders). I went to schools where talking to the opposite gender was a crime, sex education is a sin. I moved to a metropolitan city for college where I took my first step to break out of my bubble, my small bubble with one/no friends.

I was called a tomboy, a nerd, a geek with glasses and other cute names. I had many ailments dragging me down in the prime time of my youth. I spent more days in hospitals than in college. I still managed to graduate, get a decent job, got an opportunity to visit Oxford, picked up on my public speaking skills in Toastmasters, taught/helped kids who couldn’t afford a decent education,(which I continue to do), travelled a bit, realised my penchant for writing, had surgery, got back up on my feet again, supported my family in financial crisis, dealt with heartbreaks, got back up again, and still dream every day to study more, write more, read more, travel more and love a little bit more even on the days I feel like giving up on everything.

I still have a lot more things to learn, and I wish to put no deadlines for anything.I want to help more children, talk about mental health, talk about transphobia, host a podcast and bring reality of life close to others, write a book, kiss someone in the times square, wear a bikini,(I’ll stop there).

Some times I think I’ve plenty time to do everything because I’m only 25, sometimes I think when will I do everything because I’m gonna be 26 already!!(This is how anxiety works psh)

Though I have this crippling fear sometimes that I will end up a spinster, my 25 years journey taught me that self-love is the topmost priority, kindness is more beautiful than my slim waistline,(yeah I have a good figure despite the ailments, sexy to be specific), stillness is the key to happiness and deadlines will only push you closer to death and farther away from enjoying life.

I might not be under Forbes 30 under 30, but I’ll still be happy with my amazing friends, a loving family, my morning cup of coffee, the books I keep hoarding, and the list goes on..you need to pause sometimes, rewind a few times and restart things in life because you’re not a hamster in the wheel, you’re only human.(Now somebody help the hamster)

Okay let me stop here, I still have project deadlines to finish before I turn 26 and I so dearly wish that whoever is reading this will send me birthday gifts. (June 2nd it is.)

If we ever crossed paths in these 25 years and if we are going to meet in the near future, remember me as the girl who is kind, warm with an ebullient smile who will do anything in her capacity to help someone in need.

Isn’t that what life is all about? It’s never about how long we lived, its all about how many hearts you touched, how much you tried to make yourself a better person, how much you loved and cherished all those small things that brought a smile on your face. Keep up with my rants because I blabber a lot, but remember I am a great listener too.

Most of all, if I made a positive impact on you at any point in time, I will fondly pat my back myself to be turning 26, just the way I am, messy, kind and beautiful.