Is I love you overrated?

Harika Koduru
2 min readNov 28, 2022

For the longest time I had trouble saying these words, I think I still do. Okay 99% trouble. When I found the courage to utter it out in that 1%, it just turned out to be a waste of effort and emotions (story for another time).

Now that I see things a bit differently, or atleast I am making an effort to see things differently, I felt like maybe telling someone that you love them is just overrated. No doubt it feels great hearing it from someone, but what beats it is seeing those words in action.

What led me to writing this out of the blue? I just saw a man picking out the egg from his ramen bowl and keeping it in his wife’s bowl. Now that, my friend, is love in its full glory. (what I wouldn’t do for a man like that). You don’t have to wake up every morning and say I love you sweetheart and do nothing that shows the love. You do all these little somethings for your person till they turn into a huge ball of mush.

Love isn’t just remembering birthdays.You remember the smallest things about them, the way they like their coffee, which side of the bed they prefer, favorite flowers, favorite food, favorite anything that you can make a note of. Or maybe you just be there when they need you, even when they don’t tell you that they need you.

All that we do is get swayed when we hear these three words, and build an imaginary world of perfection. That doesn’t lead to anything, except unrealistic expectations and chaos eventually. Love is too big to be fit into words, so vast you can never fully see the end of it, so deep you can never really understand how far it can go. Just like the warmth of your mom’s hug, the first light of the day on a winter morning, the excitement of seeing a long distance friend, it’s too beautiful to fathom for a complex human.

It’s not the grand gestures, okay it can have grand gestures once in a while, like flying across a continent to see your person. Now that screams I love you without even uttering a word. You can simply plant a peck on their cheek and tell everything is gonna be okay when everything is going south. That also equally screams I love you. So if you are one of the many troubled people like me, just do whatever you can that shows your love, it is more than enough. Infact, it is all that is required. Be aware of how much love you are giving away though. You don’t have to go above and beyond.

p.s — yeah I have watched way too many romcoms and read fairytale books.

p.p.s — do mention the I love you once in a bluemoon, if you want to see them giggle and blush like an idiot.

Now go love your person and act like it 😊



Harika Koduru

Imperfect human, trying to make myself better everyday.