Grief.

Everyone has certain coping mechanisms to deal with grief. Some can run for a mile to free their mind, some get a coffee, some indulge in a bit of tequila. Since I can’t do any of these ( for multiple reasons), I decide to mess with my hair.

Like most things that could get stagnant in life, like career, a dead relationship, my hair never gave up on me. It always chose the exponential growth curve despite all the odds like lack of nutrition and proper care. I would get instantly noticed for my highly dense Alice in the Wonderland kinda hair. And so it has become my coping mechanism to deal with grief, from time to time.

I went from pink and purple to blond to bluish green to red. And my hair still obeyed.It got me instant recognition as the red haired girl in my international MBA class. It always had my back (quite literally). So this time when I was overcome with unbearable amount of grief I simply decided to get a new hair cut and change my look.

Here is the plot twist. The hairdresser was against me doing anything to my hair, given how beautiful it looked, and advised me to keep it the same. Had his intention been to simply make money out of my misery(why would he care for my reasons to get bangs) he would have done what I asked for. He chose to be honest with me to not take impulsive stupid decisions and gave me a little perspective.

I paid heed to his advice. I didn’t change how I looked. I also could see how life is 100x easier when you choose to be yourself, and how the right person can recognise it and appreciate it anyway.

There could always be ways to put yourself first and not look for temporary coping mechanisms(unless it’s something healthy). Grief comes in waves. Grief can be long standing. Grief can turn you upside down but choose to stand your ground. The more you choose to run away from it the more it will catch upto you. Let it serve its period and choose your well being so strongly that it will move away eventually. Until then, don’t run to get bangs :)