Are we next in line to get chopped (TW-Abuse)

Harika Koduru
3 min readNov 24, 2022

I picked up the habit of reading newspaper, as I grew up seeing my dad reading a dozen newspapers every morning. What I couldn’t imbibe was staying non chalant after reading disturbing news.

Two minor girls were raped, one woman’s complaint was ignored two years ago which eventually surfaced after her death, this is what I woke upto. Tinder recently released a survey which says 9 out of 10 Gen Z Indians are on dating apps. Not just Gen Z, you get to see a plethora of age groups there, with a wide range of sexual orientations. I have been on a few too, and I honestly felt a chill down my spine when I read that a woman got killed by this man she met through a dating app.

What really baffles me is how can a woman stay put through any kind of atrocity she goes through. I really don’t know what she went through over the last two years, how much of trauma she has undergone, without reaching out to her family and friends. Every cell in my body very dearly hopes the murderer gets his penis chopped off at the least.

This is only one example glorified in the news today which will die down soon. There are a million such incidents that happen every day in every corner of the world where women don’t speak up. I have read many articles in support of women which questioned — why are the woman blamed in every instance, why are women told to cover themselves, why are women told to learn self defence. It does make sense, why are women at fault? but may be at this point, this is all that is left to do, learning how to beat someone to pulp when it comes to saving yourself.

I don’t know a single woman in my life who didn’t go through some kind of physical/verbal abuse, be it from husband, boyfriend, father, relatives, some male scum in a public place. I know women who chose to speak up, and women who never did. I know the highly educated accomplished women who chose to put up with toxicity in the blind hopes that the so called man will change one day. The harsh truth is that man will never change. You can change the man instead and find a better man who will respect you and cherish you.

We are always told to believe in our gut instinct. Sometimes it may tell us this is the right person! Go for it! and maybe its a wrong presumption. There’s always a possibility of us ending up in some mess. That’s totally fine. What’s not fine is choosing to live in that mess. ABORT MISSION where there is no mutual respect.

We might not always be in a position to speak up either. Sometimes we go numb, we keep it to ourselves and try to forget it as a one time thing. Until it haunts us like a nightmare. If you have ever gone through any kind of abuse and chose to speak up, be proud of yourself. If you took a while to bring yourself to address it, be proud of yourself. If you couldn’t speak up in that particular moment and if it’s haunting you, please don’t be harsh on yourself. If you are contemplating to speak up about something, do it!

Reach out to your most trusted friends/family when you need that support to lean on, to listen to you and be there for you in that pain. Don’t suffer alone. You were not born to put up with some assholery, no one deserves it. Respect yourself enough to walk away from toxic people and toxic situations, be it your own family, workplace, or a life partner.

There’s nothing left to say when it comes to what can be done about men who lack basic humanity. It isn’t even worth your time and peace. Just know how to handle yourself, how to trust someone, and how to kick someone in the nuts when things go south. Love and light ❤



Harika Koduru

Imperfect human, trying to make myself better everyday.